When Our Words Don’t Show Love

I send her to bed with a not-so-gentle reminder to stay in her room. I’m fed up. She has come out three times already, and I’ve had it.

 

Just go to bed.

 

It has been a long day, and I want to unwind. I want to be kid free. I don’t want to have to take care of someone’s needs. I don’t want to have to refill someone’s water cup or change a diaper (even though she peed in the potty right before bed).

 

Just go to bed.

 

Tears well up in her eyes, and she turns around. She’s completely defeated. Shoulders drooping and choking back sobs. I’ve crushed her night.

 

After the door closes, I feel horrible. Absolutely horrible.

 

That’s not the way I want to talk to my kids. That’s not the way I should talk to my kids. They need boundaries and consequences when they don’t obey, but they don’t deserve a snippy mom.

 

But it’s hard. When the stress of the day weighs heavy on your shoulders, you just want to be able to crash in bed. Your entire day has been filled with interruptions, invasions on personal space, and needs to be met.

 

You want to turn off the mommy switch.

 

That poor, sweet girl is in her bed getting over being yelled at. All she wanted was a little bit more of me. All she wanted was another hug to know she’s secure, another kiss to know she’s loved, another minute getting tucked in to know she’s safe.

 

I will speak to my kids with more gentleness and patience. I will set up clear boundaries and follow through without snapping. I will show Christ’s love through my words and actions. My children deserve to see and feel that love. That need a positive example of how to speak to others.

 

I will not let the frustrations of today end the night on the same note.

 

My children deserve so much more than that.

 

They are loved. They are cherished. I will speak to them with words that build them up instead of tear them down.

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