Mothering is hard.

I know I don’t always do the best job. Some days I downright fail. I’m still selfish, lacking patience, and I’m not the momma you deserve. Some days I’m not the momma God designed me to be.

There are days I want to quit because I feel like I can’t do it anymore. I don’t measure up, and I feel like I will never have it together.

Today is one of those days. Yes, it is. My patience is wearing thin. All I want to do is run away for a few hours and do something for me. Who am I kidding? How about an entire weekend away?

There are days I just want to get through this season of life. I want you to grow up, be more independent, and not need me so much. Sometimes I catch myself thinking about what it’ll be like when you and your sister are in school. In my naïve mind I believe that the weight of mothering will be lifted at that point, but I know that’s not the case. Not even close.

But you know what? I don’t want to race through this stage. I want to be able to hold you forever, sing you songs, listen to that sweet little giggle, chase you around the yard as you run awkwardly, and feel those little arms wrap tightly around my neck while you get sticky peanut butter on my back. I don’t want to lose these precious moments we have.

Mothering is hard, but it’s so worth it. I’m a better person because you’re in my life.

As you grow, I grow. Each lesson that you learn is also a lesson for me. A different lesson, but a lesson that God is trying to teach me. He uses every part of life as a chance to mold us and make us more like Him. Who knew those lessons would come from such a small package?

I love you with a love I never knew existed. It’s a love I pray you will one day understand, and when you experience it, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.

No matter what you do, I will still love you. No matter how you act, I will still love you. No matter what you say, I will still love you.

This mothering thing is hard. One day you’ll understand. You experience firsthand the exhaustion, the isolation, and the sacrifice.

But you’ll also get to experience those incredible smiles, hugs, giggles, and sweet cuddles.

One day you’ll be grown up. One day you won’t need me. So today, while you’re little and needing me all the time, I’m going to hug you tighter, cuddle you longer, and love you just a little more because you are the precious blessing that God has given me for this short season of my life.

Never forget you are loved. Never forget the joy you have brought to my life.

I am blessed.

All my love,

Momma