When Life is a Blur

When I was in high school, I played field hockey. Being on the field made me forget about everything else. I didn’t worry about my grades. I didn’t worry about the guy I had a crush on. I wasn’t thinking about the upcoming weekend. I was consumed by the game. That’s where my thoughts were focused.

On more than one occasion I acquired an injury during a game. The extent of it wasn’t revealed until I sat on the bench. Only then, once my adrenaline was no longer pumping, could I assess my wounds. My focus changed because I was quiet.

Some days I feel like I have tunnel vision. When I played field hockey, I could only think about getting that ball in the net. These days, my thoughts are consumed with my day to day responsibilities. My thoughts are focused on my young children and all their needs. Some days I’m drowning in laundry, play-doh, spit-up, and tears.

Sometimes life feels like a blur. These are the longest and shortest days, all at the same time.

I need to be still. I need to pull myself away from all of the demands calling my name, and I need to sit at the feet of Jesus. I need to be filled with the Holy Spirit, and I need to be instructed by our Father. I need to take the time to assess my wounds because they need treated before I can get back in the game.

“…Be still, and know that I am God…” (Psalm 46:10)

Oh, it’s so hard to be still.

This past weekend I was on a retreat, and we had an hour where we spent alone with God. No Bible. No notebook. No nothing. Just us in front of our heavenly Father. It wasn’t easy, but it was needed. It was refreshing.  It was eye-opening.

Did I get to take in the beauty of creation? Yes.

Did I get to pray, pray, and pray? Yes.

Was I convicted of certain things? Yes.

Did I leave perfect? Absolutely not, but I was bandaged.

Won’t you join me and be still before God? Even if it’s for five minutes. Even if it means staying in the bathroom a couple extra minutes. Let’s quiet our hearts so our lives can be illuminated instead of blurred.

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